How to read a child

 As long as it comes to domestic violence, I will suddenly give birth to a sense of anger, and even host and client can read out: br> childhood usually chat with family and friends, as long as they talking about smacking, and I either do not speak, or immediate attack. One time, my son was watching TV, a dish of fruit to feed his wife and son did not want to eat, but wife still refuses to give up, not only blocked the sight of his son, and rigidly to a piece of apple into his mouth. son said it was not hungry, do not want to eat, and invited her mother to escape what may be his wife is still in Cyprus, but unfortunately, my son hand fend off his wife's hands, dishes and fruit scattered on the ground. This time his wife anxious, Ye Qi turn over according to his son is a few little ass slap.
sitting beside I already looked uncomfortable, saw his wife playing children, Teng to stand up and snatched away his wife and angrily shouted: , fight it, speaking of the time, regardless of the hh
everything was in a good mood, his wife, I told him the consequences of maltreatment. but also told her: violation of the child's boundaries, he did not want to eat, watching TV, his energy in this, and if you are doing something they like something, other people involved in offensive, might be the other means well, what do you feel? Perhaps you will to adult thinking to consider other people's motives, and the children are real, if he blindly to consider other people's motives at the expense of their own focus and interests, then it will be good is not wronged themselves to accommodate someone else, then, if he seriously at the lecture, is not it will often take the children of God? he Gaochuang Zuo, you do not disturb others when it is not particularly sensitive to movement around? Furthermore, the experience of the mother as they leave, is not it also make him grow up special care about his wife's mood? Grandma kindness, is for you? quick apology to my grandmother! level of understanding far more than the grandson now. This is her kindness, not necessarily the child identify the best intentions. and the wife is only a concept in mind: as long as adults is the motivation is good, the child must be unconditionally accepted. The makes them the first time the concept of negative old son to support, because she often give birth to this well-intentioned motives.
held at the recent Beijing Television contest to lose weight, obesity, I have contacted many friends, among them some people have had this obsessive eating experience; some anorexia, who also suffer from being forced to eat in childhood, while moving away from the dinner table; there are some people who suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder, they would have no problem, but because the imposition of these well-intentioned relatives, and they must be forced to accept hh
but I know these great people of course are not aware of the consequences of all the details of life, and his wife only saw the surface, which is the motivation for adults, but not, not used to consider the child's feelings.
many have expressed the onset of my friends do not understand, which have a neighbor who also criticized the attitude of my dog: ? it is not on the table for it? that it is hungry, eat meat, you should be education, it should not be so hard! can not be like the dog like a human, or dog, regardless of a person not to do? day, the mood is not good hh said, is that this feeling: When you have been through some kind of situation, when a wave of natural compassion would give birth to, it is a painful experience empathy.
is so sensitive to domestic violence, it is because I childhood felt. Some people say, When a child is beaten, the kind of fear, the innocent and helpless, that the pain of wits, not only can not escape the kind of parents (the kind), and could not accept the humiliating sense of helplessness.
to most of us people, but in the growth process, as early as the year itself felt forgotten, or that the deeply buried. Moreover, experience in the education process as a doctrine: ; not be bent, humiliation of the reasons for parents to meet and understand the values of filial piety. But then they, too, and I do not have rational judgments, they also fear, anger, frustration, and these physical and mental energy buried in the deepest, not released them.
to life itself, there is no good and evil, a child will not distinguish between motives and behavior, beaten, he / she simply feel the pain, can not, have no right to attack the opposition. However, this share of energy produced anger, but because of the weak, and the need to support their parents were suppressed, the growth process in the future so, on some so-called reasonable, in fact self-defeating dogma on the grounds given the beautiful layers of hitting behind the ring. However, they buried a long time that kind of life the energy and anger will not disappear because of the layers of light, lord of creation who can intelligently to these magma eruption elsewhere mm lover, boss, colleagues, kids.
This is like a dog after being beaten the host will bite stick Flanagan hit it. It must identify the owner from the heart to fight it is reasonable, but can not be sent out when subjected to maltreatment and to produce real anger. Yes, we talk about real anger, this anger is psychological consequences, it is reality exists in the dog body, but also persist in our body and mind of every individual them.
so I attack, any violence on children, for whatever reason, I will share their feelings. because I live back to my childhood, but later in the thirties.
It was a group therapy courses, instructors guide us through the hypnotic state into his own childhood. I long for those doctrines which can not enter, once thought of abuse, it will naturally be linked with their parents, but in my mind, is never allowed their negative parents. but because of this, I not only can not enter the state, and in the past, I have several units with the leadership and against the boss, which frequently resign. because I will then vent their anger on the anger of their savings, they and their father signal, is a symbol of authority and god.
in the , felt the year by his father to At the same time, just like the movies, I often exchange their work with the supervisors go against the internal friction of life for many years, completely understand, and know the character of those obstacles, to see how they do in life operation hh, since then, I began to understand themselves and this yourself, but not present in me, but a long and painful, but overwhelmed by the growth process.
to that time, I really understand the child (human childhood) and children born with the ability of empathy, I can immediately switch to the child's feelings inside, rather than to judge a now adult child. So they take a beating, as hit me, suffer curse, as in shame me, their suffering can be transformed into my present pain. More important is the growing awareness of their own, and will see the future after hitting a child to an adult process. I know that one hand and blame on the psychological consequences of that terrible, is beyond words to express. like the sight of domestic violence, I naturally share the feelings with the child. This is listen to what parents and children classes, who would naturally give birth to the wisdom of educating the children, because they are no longer treating the child, in fact, the year in the care of their own, they see cause and effect, you can not allow children to be their sins, have their cause and effect cycle. because then, they have the compassion of the Buddha are, also will perform is that time unable to control, or will it hit the child. , and the feeling is all the body and mind to experience, is to mobilize the whole body every cell has been suppressed for a long time to wake up the memory. This transfer is a kind of learning is to learn their own lessons, practice is a kind of inward, and consistent opposite the popular dogma, so it seemed very lonely, very painful.
However, if through this pain, is to spend more time to read books that education is also not likely to become their child needs that eligible parents, accidentally, or will the children have adverse psychological consequences. because books can only be charged for the mind, but can not substitute their own true feelings, the feelings of a child.
are we to understand me That Dog people, precisely because she had owned a dog, a kind of personal experience, will be so sensitive to the dog died in a car accident. so in love with a child, he / she must also feel that he had been the child's experience before a child's heart to accompany their children, love children. but also because of his / her true understanding of their growth process, family education will be reflected in the guide, sharing, respect, because they actually regulate their own the growth process, know their unpromising, irritability, and low self-esteem, the powerless, the weak, sensitive, competing with the origin, they do not want to fall into the negative energy of children, because they fear will naturally go adjust this result, then there will be no such consequences for the child.
the core of parenting, that is,